


turning my brain into dust

by xxtozier



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Bisexual Richie Tozier, Boys In Love, Coming Out, F/M, Falling In Love, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mild Language, Richie Tozier Mind Reading au, Richie can read minds, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxtozier/pseuds/xxtozier
Summary: Richie Tozier had been able to read minds for as long as he could remember, since before he could even understand what he was seeing.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	turning my brain into dust

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this a long time ago and i’ve officially decided that i’m gonna finish it. i haven’t proof read this chapter yet but i’m hoping it’s not too bad
> 
> also eddie’s thoughts will be shown in italics with parentheses

Richie Tozier had been able to read minds for as long as he could remember, since before he could even understand what he was seeing.

Everyone’s thoughts and emotions had always been clear to him, whether it be his mothers frustrations when he wouldn’t go to bed or his fathers wishes of putting him up for adoption. He didn’t think he was at all different until he finally confronted this issue to his mother, who’d then told him he was being ridiculous and to fuck off. He decided that he hated it in second grade when he saw his classmates real thoughts on his new glasses. That shit really didn’t help with his self confidence. Richie was sixteen now and had finally started to learn how to shut it off at least temporarily by focusing on his thoughts and his thoughts alone.

That was always easier to do when he was with his friends, their company being enough to distract him from his wandering brain. None of his fellow losers were aware of his ‘skill’ and Richie was desperate to keep it that way. Even after years of knowing each other Richie had convinced himself that they would turn their backs on him if he told them. Who the fuck would want to be friends with someone who gave them no privacy?

Currently it was 1:34 am and Richie couldn’t sleep; he dreaded sleep. In less then 6 hours he would have to be up and ready for school but fuck school. He considered heading to Bev’s aunts house so he could get some weed but got a better idea, throwing a hoodie over his shirtless torso and slipping on his chucks. He knew his mother wouldn’t hear him sneaking out and his father wasn’t even home, probably out fucking some other married woman.

Richie was at the front door when he noticed his mom passed out drunk on the sofa, patiently waiting for a husband that was never going to show. Richie could see that her mind was foggy, probably from the alcohol. He grabbed the warm beer out of her limp grasp and placed it on the table before laying a blanket across her legs. He sensed comfort.

Richie had never been very fond of front doors, or any doors in general. He much preferred windows, Eddie Kaspbrak’s window in particular. He wasn’t really thinking when he made his way up the tall oak beside the Kaspbrak residence, but once again he hadn’t really been thinking when he’d ridden his bike across town in the middle of the night to get to there.

When Richie finally got to the window sill he noticed that the glass was already open a few inches. He wasn’t surprised, his nighttime visits weren’t exactly uncommon but Eddie was already asleep which was uncommon. He usually tried to stay awake as late as he could incase Richie cane over but it was 1 am and there was school tomorrow. Richie didn’t really expect Eddie to be awake. That didn’t stop him from tapping on the glass lightly, which was enough to get Eddie up.

He watched as Eddie rolled over to the edge of his bed and made his way across the room in pj bottoms and one of Richie’s shirts, eyes still half closed and head foggy. “Thanks for knocking I guess,” he mumbled, voice hoarse. Richie smiled at him then entered Eddie’s window like a fucking elephant, his leg getting caught on the sill making him fall flat onto the floor. Eddie shrieked in surprise.

“Sorry to wake you Eds,” he murmured, smiling from the carpeted ground.

“What the fuck Richie! You probably just woke up the entire neighbourhood! If you get me in trouble I swear to god-“

Richie pulled himself up and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. Eddie shut up and hugged back quietly, though it wasn’t so quite inside his head.

( _I wonder if he knows how stupid he is. Probably. He smells nice_ )”You smell like cigarettes, Richie. Why were you smoking so late?” Eddie asked it like a question but he already knew the answer. ( _Is it his mom or his dad this time. Or both?_ )

Richie pulled away and looked down at Eddie’s torso, reaching out to touch the fabric. “Nice shirt. AC/DC? Didn’t know you liked them.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and swatted his hand away. “I didn’t have anything else to wear.” ( _I did I just like the way your clothes feel on me._ ) “Also quit dodging my question. Are you okay?”

“I’m one hundred percent, Eddie Bear, cool as a cucumber,” Richie wasn’t really lying now, Eddie’s company being enough to lift his spirits. He walked over to Eddie’s bed and flopped down onto his springy mattress. It creaked under him and Richie smiled to himself, bouncing up and down on it. The room filled with the soft sounds of the mattress squeaking and Eddie rushed over from the window.

“Shut up Richie! My mom might hear you and think-“

“That you’re getting laid? That some hot chick is going down on you?” Richie grinned at the look of horror on Eddie’s red face.

( _I wouldn’t want a girl to go down on me anyway._ ) “Beep fucking beep Richie Tozier” Eddie retorted, completely blotching Richie’s last name. He knew Richie hated that.

“Wanna listen to some music or something?” Richie interrupted Eddie’s thoughts. Eddie moved across the room towards his boombox and Richie felt himself get hot at the sight of the smaller boy drowning in his clothes. He wanted to hold him, to cuddle him, to touch him, but Richie held himself back. He’d be fucked if the smaller boy could read his mind right now.

Eddie held up a couple of tapes. “Whatcha feeling Rich? Bowie? Queen?”

“Just the radio is fine.” Eddie looked somewhat disappointed but pressed a button anyway and the shrill voice of Cyndi Lauper sounded through the speaker.

( _He’s definitely mad at me_.) Richie wasn’t mad at all.

“Sorry I’m in such a weird mood. And my parents aren’t fighting,” Richie ran a hand through his curls. “He’s still not home.”

“How long has it been?”

Five months, Richie thought. “I don’t know. Awhile.”

( _Shit_.) “And your mom?” Eddie plopped down beside Richie and turned to him. Richie still had his head against the wall.

“She’s home, she’s just never awake. I don’t think she’s been out of the house since Wentworthless left.” Richie heard Eddie huff lightly and he looked towards him, twisting the silver band on his middle finger. Fuck you was engraved on it curtesy of Beverly Marsh. Eddie’s eyebrows were furrowed and he studied Richie’s face, searching. ( _He looks so wrecked_.)

Soft fingers brushed against Richie’s cheekbones as Eddie slowly removed his glasses. Then the smaller boy started to trace Richie’s under eyes. “You need to sleep Rich. You look so..tired.” Eddie tucked raven curls behind pierced ears. “You look fucking _dead_.”

“Oh really? And how exactly did I die?” Richie was teasing. He didn’t like how serious the atmosphere felt in Eddie’s room, how somber. It got like this sometimes when it was late enough and they were tired enough, when all their energy had been drained.

“Probably got hit by a bus or a freaking car or something.” Eddie’s voice oozed sarcasm. “Or you overdosed on cigarettes.”

“You can’t _overdose_ on cigarettes.”

“Oh, you would find a way.” Silence overcame the room once more. Richie noticed the moonlight that shine through the window, illuminating Eddie’s comic book collection. The boombox was still playing softly and Your Song could be heard. “ _How wonderful life is, while you’re in the world_.”

“You excited for school?”

Richie huffed. “That’s not even a question, Eddie. Who the hell is excited to listen to teachers rant all day about shit like Shakespeare and exponents?”

“I know Ben is. Stanley too. Just cause you think it’s a waste of time doesn’t mean it is to everyone. How else are we supposed to learn?”

“Have you seen my grades? I could drop out right now and I’d be able to beat Einstein at a game of Jeopardy. The only reason I stay in school is so I can see your cute face everyday.”

( _Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?_ )

“Shut up Richie, I’m not cute. Also Einstein would whoop your ass.”

Richie rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. He bent over and untied his shoes, sliding them off. “Can I lay down?” Eddie nodded quickly and embraced Richie again, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s torso for the second time that night.

“I’m okay Eddie, just tired is all.” He exhaled against Eddie’s hair then inhaled deeply, breathing in the strawberry shampoo scent. When he pulled away he tried to read Eddie again but his exhaustion was overpowering. Laying the side of his head on the feather pillow he felt warm hands splay across his stomach and an even warmer body press against his back.

Richie chuckled lightly. “Big spoon tonight, eh?” Eddie nuzzled his head deeper between Richie’s shoulder blades.

“Shut the fuck up.”

* * *

At exactly 5:54 am Richie snuck out of Eddie’s room. He hadn’t really slept at all but when did he ever, especially when a cute boy was cuddled up against his back. He’d looked over and examined Eddie’s freckled face, how his soft eyelashes brushed against his under eyes and the way his mouth was pursed open just a little bit before he left. He always looked the most peaceful at night without the burden of his mother or the redness he got in his face when he was annoyed, which was often.

Music was still playing but it was a song Richie didn’t recognize. The sky was mostly black excluding the soft pink haze that had started to break through it and he could hear birds tweeting. Stanley Uris was probably getting up at this time too but for different reasons then he was. Richie wondered if he could catch Stan at the park birdwatching if he walked that way. Wouldn’t that be a fun surprise for Stan the man.

Eddie twitched slightly in his sleep and Richie ran a hand across the fabric of his (well, Richie’s) shirt. Richie couldn’t see dreams but he knew Eddie got nightmares, bad nightmares. So bad that he would wake up in a cold sweat screaming and wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Times like that Richie would usually hold him until he faded away but it scared him whenever he imagined Eddie waking up screaming, alone. He wondered what they were about but he knew he could ask. The one time he did ask Eddie had gotten defensive and responded with ‘your mom’. Richie didn’t push him any further.

It didn’t take long for Eddie’s eyebrows to relax and his breathing to settle. Richie smiled and left quietly, not before bringing his lips to Eddie’s head and murmuring goodnight as lovesong by the Cure started in the background. “ _Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again.”_


End file.
